Lost amid all the silliness that came out of President Trump’s first news conference on Thursday – and there was so much to choose from – was his statement that he felt he could have been a good reporter.
Nothing like a good challenge on a rainy Friday afternoon, so, let’s put on our editor’s hat and imagine what kind of stories we’d get from Donald Trump, reporter for the Hometown Commercial Scimitar.*
High school football
A big crowd came out for Friday night’s game between the Hometown High Cougars and those No. 1 tricky Clinton County Warthogs. Not as many as came to my inauguration, but more than for the Women’s March on Washington. I think Clinton got the plays in advance.
Pet of the Week
This is Rover. He’s three years old, has all his shots, is housebroken and loves children. He’s available at the County Animal Shelter. He’s all yours. I prefer dogs that weren’t in the pound.
When the circus comes to town
I got to ride an elephant! (and we thank you, Debbie Speer).
Man on the street
This week’s question: So,how do you like me so far?
At the courthouse
We all knew he was guilty, but the so-called judge ruled against those trying to protect our country. Sad!
And, his exit interview
I’m fired? Fake news! Crooked media is unfair!
* – this space’s tribute to the late Charles Stough, chief copyboy at the BONG Bull, who we think would have appreciated this. If not him, then chief photographer Herman “Speed” Graphic and his Faithful Companion, Typo the Wonder Pig.